Have you ever met a girl that seemed to be absolutely perfect? So much so in fact, you found yourself falling for her after just a few dates?
You fantasize about spending time with her, having passionate sex with her, and figuring out how to convince her to be your girlfriend. You can’t wait to bust out some of your favorite moves and attraction techniques from the Girlfriend System.
But then, seemingly out of nowhere, your excitement turns to disappointment…
You text her to find out what her plans are for the weekend and she tells you she is going to a baseball game. All you can think about is, why didn’t she invite ME?
Your brain tells you to start looking for ways to fill up her calendar with fun activities for you and her. You desperately try to get her to commit to dinner dates, comedy shows, and sporting events weeks in advance.
The next time you see her, things just don’t seem to be the same. She acts as if she still likes you, but she’s just not as interested in spending time together. What happened? Everything seemed fine before.
Hopefully I don’t need to tell you that your obsessive behavior was NOT a major turn on for her, but trust me I understand. When you really like someone, it’s natural to want to spend all your time with them.
The problem arises when you act on these feelings too soon. Forcing yourself into someone’s life can be intimidating and make the person feel trapped.
So what is the best solution?
The answer may not be as complicated as it seems. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes.
How would you feel if someone you didn’t really know was pressuring you into a relationship? Or better yet, how would you feel if that same person printed out a calendar of all the fun things they had planned for you and expected you to be on board?
Take a minute to think about it: if she had a great time on the first date, isn’t she naturally going to want to see you again in the near future? As this pattern continues, I can almost guarantee you it would lead to some type of solid relationship.
On the other hand, if she was a nervous wreck the entire time, and tried to force you to spend more time with her… you would most likely avoid her at all costs and not want to ever see her again.
Here is one of the most important lessons you will ever learn on what you can do to avoid ending up with a restraining order and scaring your perfect girl away. It can be summed up in just 4 words…
Live for the moment
The first few dates of any potential relationship should be fun and never involve any pressure to commit to something more serious.
All of your energy should be focused on being happy and making sure she is having a great time every MOMENT you are together. You can start by smiling, being courteous, and doing things that make her laugh.
Instead of trying to plan out the next date, find a way to drop hints about things you are doing in the near future that she will be sure to be interested in. Women typically love to talk and will tell you what their interests are without you even having to ask. Use this to your advantage and find a way to unintentionally invite her on a next date doing an activity guaranteed to peak her interest.
Think of this as trying to catch a fish. The fun activity that you want her to attend with you is the bait and you want to casually cast out your line (the invitation) until she bites (accepts the invitation).
For example, she has already mentioned that she loves sushi. You know of a great Japanese steak house in your local area with the best sushi around. Try saying something like this:
“Wait, have you ever been to the sushi bar at Kobe Japanese Steakhouse? It is out of sight! I have got to take you there the next time we hang out. They were ranked as the top 5 Japanese Steakhouse in the country! The sushi is to die for. I bet you haven’t had anything better!”
See how you were able to subtly mention taking her out on a second date, but you did not force her to commit? You managed to show her you are a good listener by mentioning a restaurant in line with her preferences, and you let her know you are definitely interested in seeing her again by saying “the next time we hang out.”
Another approach would to be casually invite her to something that she may not be use to doing, but she was intrigued by it when you mentioned it.
For example, let’s say you really enjoy hiking and rock climbing. She seemed to be really interested when you were talking about it. Express to her how much fun it is and tell her you would be happy to take her to your favorite indoor rock climbing wall facility the next time you see her.
She will love the fact that you are inviting her to do something that is directly related to your personal life. Whether the next date is at the sushi bar or the rock climbing wall, you can rest assured there WILL BE a second date, and you just gained some major bonus points.
She will also love that fact that you are confident in yourself. What do I mean? The fact that you seemed so sure she would love to spend more time with you that you subtly mentioned a “next time.”
By the time you reach the end of your first date, her mind will be full of positive images of fun and happiness every time she thinks about you. She will talk about you to her friends, family members, and coworkers. And the most important thing, it will make her look forward to making more memories with you in the future.
The last thing I want to leave with you is a way to remember this lesson. It may sound a little corny, but it will help you always remember.
When you start dating someone you really like, think of the story of the tortoise and hare. Although the rabbit was clearly the better opponent at the start of the race, he failed to win because he was not focused on what was important, “winning the race.”
I am saying that to say this: it does not matter if there are other guys competing for the attention of your crush. They could have more money, be better looking, and even have more style, but if you focus on keeping her happy and paying attention to her interests, the other guys will not be able to compete!
Stay focused on living for the moment and avoid coming on too strong. Keeping all this in mind will ensure you get the girl you desire EVERY TIME!