A lot of people have a hard time dating because they set high expectations for the people that they date. Some even have a checklist of things that they want out of a partner, and find it difficult to deviate from that list no matter how great the other qualities of a person are.

Are you this type of person?

Do you immediately count someone out just because they aren’t the right height, or aren’t as set in their career as you would like? While it’s always important to have certain expectations out of a partner, a laundry list of needs may not be the right approach.

If you’re ready to make changes and want to approach dating in a different way, then it might be time to start thinking about yourself. After all, would you date you?  Do you have qualities that other people seek when looking for a partner to spend the rest of their lives with?

You have to remember that your date is checking off that list just like you, and you may not be passing with flying colors. By shifting the focus from others to yourself, you may be able to make some positive changes that lead to finally meeting and keeping someone!

Now that you’re ready to focus on a different type of dating approach, answer the following questions as honestly as possible.

How do you look?

Of course you know what you look like, but what type of impression are you giving off to your date? Try and imagine yourself from an outside perspective, and dress in the way that gives off the impression that you’re going for.

Are you punctual?

Nobody wants to wait around, so make sure you show up on time. This will give your date the impression that you’re reliable and that you are taking the date seriously.

What topics do you talk about?

Try to bring up neutral subjects that will spark conversation.  Let the conversation naturally flow, and if you end up finding common ground, that can give you both a topic you can relate to.

How do you make your date feel?

Are you conducting your date like you are actually checking their qualities off of a list? If you are, then you are going to turn your date away from the very start.

Don’t interrogate them with questions right away.  Instead, fit questions into the natural flow of the conversation.  Dates should be fun.  They shouldn’t feel like a job interview.

Are you talking about yourself too much?

Anyone can make the mistake of talking about themselves too much while they are on a date, and that’s why it’s important to consciously remember that you’re there to get to know the other person.

Spark conversation with unique topics and don’t be afraid to get to know them!

Do you have the traits that you’re looking for in a partner?

If you’re looking for someone who is affectionate, generous, kind, fair, educated, positive, committed, and career-oriented, then it’s important that you see those same traits in yourself.  Of course you both don’t need to be the exact same, but remember that your date is probably still looking for general good qualities in someone, so you should take a self-assessment to see what you have to offer.

Nobody said dating is easy, but it can lead to a wonderful new relationship if you open yourself up. Once you know what you have to offer, you’ll have more confidence and a better outlook on dating!